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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Chipotle Closes 43 Locations After E. Coli Outbreak

Acting out of what they call an “abundance of caution,” Chipotle announced they are temporarily closing 43 locations in Washington and Oregon after an outbreak of E. coli has affected 20 people who recently ate Chipotle in the region. What do you think?

  • “It’s pathetic what qualifies as an outbreak these days.”

    Cindy Tichler PR Educator
  • “You mean I’ll be forced to make do with Qdoba, Del Taco, El Pollo Loco, and Moe’s Southwest Grill?”

    Ronald Hayertz Jar Sealer
  • “I’d better be entitled to extra meat when they reopen.”

    Judd Hough Dissection Overseer
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