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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Chiquita Paid Colombian Terrorists

Chiquita Brands International, Inc. has agreed to plead guilty to charges that the company made payments to Colombian groups designated as terrorist organizations by the U.S. State Department. What do you think?
  • "This is the worst crime bananas have ever been implicated in since the Beverly Hills Cop 'banana tailpipe' incident."

    Bayard Wilson Exterminator
  • "You know who really will feel the pinch once Chiquita pays the $25 million fine? Monkeys."

    Shawna Deutsch Systems Analyst
  • "How else is Chiquita supposed to protect their workers from the Del Monte death squads?"

    William Mulaney School Superintendent

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