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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Chris Christie On Vaccines: Parents Should Have ‘Measure Of Choice’

In the wake of a measles outbreak experts believe is linked to the anti-vaxxer movement, New Jersey governor and possible presidential candidate Chris Christie said he believes that it should be a parent’s choice to inoculate their children, saying, “It’s much more important what you think as a parent than what you think as a public official.” What do you think?

  • “It’s refreshing to see a public official standing up against public health measures.”

    Anna Shankman E-Book Marketer
  • “Interesting. I didn’t know Iowa voters felt that way about vaccinations.”

    Matt Lavallee Tissue Box Designer
  • “It’s so exciting watching a 2016 talking point being born.”

    Griffin Vaugh Systems Analyst

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