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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Chris Christie To Deliver RNC Keynote Speech

New Jersey governor Chris Christie has reportedly been chosen to deliver the keynote address at the Republican National Convention next month in Tampa, FL. What do you think?

  • “I don’t care who’s talking as long as they mention my state or career, so I can whoop.”

    Shanti Hasan Unemployed
  • “If he’s never been to Tampa, I recommend he check out its downtown area. That’s usually what you do your first time in a new city.”

    Tom Klier German-English Translator
  • “That’s going to be one hell of a podium.”

    Cabray Evans Concert Flutist
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