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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Christian Student Sues For Right To Hate Speech

Ruth Malhotra, a student at the Georgia Institute of Technology, sued the institution over her right to speak freely against homosexuality in accordance with her religion. What do you think?
  • "If we don't protect freedom of speech, how will we know who the assholes are?"

    Louis Neprud Systems Analyst
  • "It would have been more appropriate for this student to sue the college for not putting money into research for a cure."

    Denise Franklin Youth Minister
  • "Free speech, no matter how vitriolic, is a God-given right—which is exactly why only Christians should be allowed to speak freely."

    Ray Andresen Telephone Lineman
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