Christie Endorses Romney

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Vol 47 Issue 43

Bill Simmons Somehow Still Writing About 2010 NBA Season

LOS ANGELES—With the NBA lockout having already resulted in the cancellation of many games this fall, ESPN.com and Grantland columnist Bill Simmons is somehow managing to churn out upwards of 3,000 words per week on the NBA by continuing to write ab...

FAA To Ban Plane Crashes

WASHINGTON—In what officials are calling "a much-needed policy shift," the Federal Aviation Administration announced this weekend that it would ban all plane crashes.

Man's Utter Failure In Life A Bit Of A Sore Spot

MADISONVILLE, TN—Sources close to local man Mike Ferguson confirmed Saturday that over time they have learned not to bring up their friend's utter failure to achieve anything whatsoever in life, a sensitive topic they said has always been a bit of a...

Lions Fans Excited To Be Booing Again

DETROIT—After their team dropped its second-straight game Sunday, Detroit Lions fans told reporters they were thrilled to get back to booing the hapless franchise.
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Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Christie Endorses Romney

New Jersey governor Chris Christie announced he would support Mitt Romney's candidacy for president. What do you think?

  • "It's statements like that which lead me to believe Christie's still open to a bid for the White House in 2012. Run, Christie, run!"

    Charles Wolff
    Auto Salesperson
  • "Why? Does Romney hate teachers, too?"

    Alex Cafritz
    Abrasive Grader
  • "Does 'Romney and Christie' sound like two running mates on a presidential ticket? Maybe not. Does 'Romney and Christie' sound like one of the best goddamn ’70s throwback duos we've seen in a while? Hell yes! I'm going to vote for them and hope they know that’s why!"

    Monica Bert
    Unemployed
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