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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Christmas Trees More Expensive

Due to high fuel costs, the price of Christmas trees will be around 10 percent higher this year. What do you think?
  • "The high costs have affected Hanukkah, too. I could only afford a menorah with four candleholders."

    Terry Golden Personal Assistant
  • "That tricky Jesus. Always trying to make a buck."

    Grace Patrochis Systems Analyst
  • "I cut down my own tree every year. It makes Christmas more meaningful without the hassle of attending church."

    Chuck Warner Caddy
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