adBlockCheck

Chrysler Unveils Minivan For Men

Top Headlines

Recent News

Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Chrysler Unveils Minivan For Men

Chrysler dealerships will soon be carrying an updated Dodge Grand Caravan minivan designed to appeal to men. What do you think?

  • "I already made my minivan more manly by wrecking it when I was drunk."

    Howie Sitek Blast Furnace Operator
  • "Ooo. Will the price be 22 percent lower than the regular minivan?"

    Tanya Malone Data Communications Technician
  • "But it already has enough room for a loving wife and up to five beautiful children. What more could a man want?"

    Marco Adebimpe Circuit Court Judge

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close