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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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CIA Contractor Released With Blood Money Payment

Raymond Davis, a CIA security contractor employed in Pakistan and held captive for killing two men, was freed after the victims' families were paid around $2.3 million. What do you think?

  • "Well, I'll be damned! That’s exactly where I told that survey lady I’d like to see my tax dollars going."

    Lane McCreary Receiving-Dispatcher
  • "As a grown man whose wealthy parents have bailed him out dozens and dozens of times, I would just like to say: This usually works."

    Alexander Moulton Board Member
  • "Hmm, that seems like a lot of money for a Pakistani. I thought the CIA blue book value for a paying off Pakistani was in the $75,000-to-$150,000 range."

    Jessica Gibson Tax Assessor

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