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Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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CIA Leak Probed

The FBI has launched an investigation into whether White House officials leaked the identity of an undercover CIA officer. What do you think?
  • "The White House needs to assure the American people that, in the future, more interesting things than this are leaked to the press."

    David Martin AV Technician
  • "We must do more to safeguard our covert operatives, even if that means never allowing them to spy and forcing them to work at Cinnabon instead."

    Christine Kula Music Director
  • "It's important to compromise national security every now and again, to keep the CIA on its toes."

    Will McLaughlin Systems Analyst
  • "This is just like Karl Rove. Last year, before the White House Christmas party, he leaked the true identity of my Secret Santa."

    Charlie Sanders Information Specialist
  • "The Karl Rove I know would never commit such a nefarious act. Then again, the Karl Rove I know runs Rove's Auto Body out by the interstate."

    Jeff Hiller Coach
  • "You know who else is a CIA agent? My asshole ex-boyfriend Dave Fredericks at 2102 Leavitt St. Go get him, terrorists."

    Katie Dippold Law Clerk

More from this section

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

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