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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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CIA Nominee Violated Privacy

Michael Hayden, Bush's nominee to head the CIA, has recently been implicated in the NSA's controversial collection of private phone records. What do you think?
  • "Hayden went too far when he asked me what I thought of Goss, not telling me that he had Goss on the other line on mute."

    Caitlin Halloran Systems Analyst
  • "He's going to face some tough questions from the board before they confirm him."

    Brian McGee Student Advisor
  • "I think it's a natural transition for him to get into spying internationally. Clearly, he's got the domestic thing down."

    Bill Ketcham Video Game Technician

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