Cigarette Moderation Still Kills

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Vol 41 Issue 39

IRA Disarmament

The Irish Republican Army, working with an independent international commission, claims to have destroyed all its weapons stockpiles. What do...

Cheney's Aneurysms

Vice President Dick Cheney is recovering after having aneurysms removed from the back of both his knees. What do you think?

Gay Clergyman

The Vatican has announced that it will prevent homosexuals from entering the priesthood. What do you think?

Tom DeLay Steps Down

Rep. Tom DeLay (R-TX) was recently indicted on charges of conspiracy in a campaign-financing scheme, and forced to temporarily step down as House...
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Healthy Eating

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Cigarette Moderation Still Kills

A new study shows that smoking as little as one cigarette a day can still triple heart-disease risks. What do you think?
  • "That's okay, because I only smoke one cigarette a night with a glass of red wine."

    Judith Halverson
    Florist
  • "Well, luckily for me, risk turns chicks on."

    Kyle DeHart
    Claims Adjuster
  • "Oh crap! That means my heart-disease risk is 560 times higher than a non-smoker?"

    Andrew Lentz
    Systems Analyst
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