Cigarette Packaging May Graphically Depict Disease

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Vol 46 Issue 45

About FactZone with Brooke Alvarez

FactZone with Brooke Alvarez is the highest-rated prime-time cable news show in America, offering breaking news updates, in-depth reporting, insightful analysis of current events, and constant monitoring of public opinion through online polls, vi...

Study: Majority Of Highlights Boring

UNIVERSITY PARK, PA—A three-year study of highlights across all major sports concluded that 94 percent of televised top plays and incredible displays of skill were in fact pretty boring.

Family Takes Rare Trip To The Good Mall

CORAL GABLES, FL—In a noteworthy departure from their usual shopping routine, the Dietrich family announced today that they would forego the regular mall near their home in favor of the good mall, located 45 minutes away.
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Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Cigarette Packaging May Graphically Depict Disease

To underscore the dangers of smoking, the FDA has proposed requiring packs of cigarettes to carry images of diseased lungs or corpses. What do you think?

  • "If only my grandmother had smoked long enough to see this."

    Joe Hopper
    Systems Analyst
  • "That's nothing. In Canada, they put a personalized eulogy on each pack."

    Grace Stipe
    Terminal Manager
  • "That packaging sounds very similar to our Christmas wrapping paper, for you see, I come from a family of monsters. Alas, I am the only normal-looking one, and my family's secret shame."

    Carlos Pierce
    Accountant
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