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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Clarence Thomas Breaks 7-Year Silence In Court

Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas, who hadn’t said anything from the bench since February 2006, was recorded uttering the barely decipherable words “Well, he did not...” Monday, which was apparently part of a joke made at the expense of a lawyer. What do you think?

  • “He reminds me of myself in that way. I’m always the guy who doesn’t say much, but when I do, people have no idea what I’m talking about.”

    Patrick Omilami Switchyard Worker
  • “It looks like winter’s going to be extra long this year.”

    Curt Plavin Labor Relations Consultant
  • “Totally worth the wait.”

    Ursula Starr Dressmaker

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