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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Climate Change Stunting Growth Of Fish

A new study warns that rising oceanic temperatures due to climate change are stunting the growth of fish and exacerbating global fishing shortages. What do you think?

  • “Thanks for the warning, but I can barely muster the energy to care about how climate change is affecting people.”

    Cynthia Martinson Forensic Accountant
  • “You’d think all those glaciers melting into the ocean would have cooled things off by now.”

    Benjamin Hewitt Hatchback Installer
  • “McNuggets it is.”

    Todd Phipps Aluminum Polisher

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