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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Clinton And The Fugitive Financier

Congress is investigating Bill Clinton's pardon of Marc Rich, a major Democratic Party contributor who since 1983 has been living in Switzerland to avoid trial for racketeering, tax evasion, and trading with Iran. What do you think?
  • "A powerful politician doing favors for a corrupt business crony? America has lost its innocence."

    Hugh Carter Math Teacher
  • "Would you do any less for a loved one or major campaign contributor?"

    Patrick Poulon Systems Analyst
  • "Marc Rich's plight is a lot like that of Native American activist Leonard Peltier, except Rich has eleventy gazillion dollars and isn't in jail."

    Jessica Smith Graduate Student
  • "I'm sure living a luxurious lifestyle in Switzerland for the past 18 years showed Rich the error of his ways."

    Harriet Swann Guidance Counselor
  • "Come on, let him go. The poor guy's done his time. He was president for eight years, for God's sake."

    Marc Cowart Electrician
  • "I wish Clinton could have pardoned my ass out of jail for robbing that camera store. Oh, and also for my oil deals with Iran."

    Henry Thalacker Custodian

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