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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Clinton Dropping Out Of Iowa?

An internal memo from from a Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton campaign staffer urged her not to run in the Iowa caucus, stating that she would probably lose. What do you think?
  • "If Clinton isn't willing to spend tons of time pretending to give a shit about Iowa, it just shows she's not ready to be president."

    Sara Frawley Systems Analyst
  • "Smart move. She needs to spend that time more judiciously continuing to reach out to her entrenched support base."

    Neil Callahan Leather Tanner
  • "Why not just announce to all of America that you don't care about flipping pancakes?"

    Orin Marshall Carpet Salesman

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