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Politics

Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.

Jimmy Carter Contemplating Dying Right Here And Now

WASHINGTON—Carefully weighing the pros and cons of each option from his seat onstage at Donald Trump’s inauguration, former president Jimmy Carter is, according to late-breaking reports, currently contemplating dying right here and now.
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Clinton To Appear In 'Hangover 2'

People magazine reported that former president Bill Clinton would appear in the sequel to the popular Todd Phillips comedy The Hangover. What do you think?

  • "This is the worst casting choice since Sen. William Proxmire appered as “Hippie No. 5” in I Love You, Alice B. Toklas."

    Keith Fair Deflash Operator
  • "Good to hear that Todd Phillips and Bill Clinton are ending their decadelong feud over the ratification of NAFTA."

    Dana Sluggett Fettler
  • "Losing all that weight 'for Chelsea's wedding' my ass."

    Christian Weulfing Unemployed

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