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Politics

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.
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Clinton To Appear In 'Hangover 2'

People magazine reported that former president Bill Clinton would appear in the sequel to the popular Todd Phillips comedy The Hangover. What do you think?

  • "This is the worst casting choice since Sen. William Proxmire appered as “Hippie No. 5” in I Love You, Alice B. Toklas."

    Keith Fair Deflash Operator
  • "Good to hear that Todd Phillips and Bill Clinton are ending their decadelong feud over the ratification of NAFTA."

    Dana Sluggett Fettler
  • "Losing all that weight 'for Chelsea's wedding' my ass."

    Christian Weulfing Unemployed

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