adBlockCheck

Politics

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
End Of Section
  • More News

Clinton Vs. The NRA

In recent weeks, President Clinton and the National Rifle Association have been at war over the issue of gun control. What do you think?
  • "Guns don't kill people; guns are designed and manufactured for the purpose of enabling people to use the guns to kill people."

    Wallace Carter Systems Analyst
  • "Gun control? Oh, great. Now how am I going to well-regulate my militia?"

    Lonald Molitor Family Therapist
  • "People wouldn't need guns if the government finally enacted some laws that get tough on deer."

    Tami Kerst Manicurist
  • "Obviously, the president has never been captured by super-intelligent apes, or he'd feel differently about the importance of guns."

    Tom Estades Assistant Manager
  • "What a coincidence that Clinton is trying to pass sweeping new gun-control legislation in an election year."

    Francine Vanhandel Typing Instructor
  • "As usual, the Democrats are manipulating the liberal media in a calculated bid to take away my fire stick. Unggh! Want fire stick!"

    Dennie Decker Carpet Cleaner

More from this section

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close