CNN's Chilling 9/11 Tribute

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Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

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Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Where Your Political Donation Goes

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Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.

Fact-Checking The Third Presidential Debate

Presidential nominees Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump sparred over subjects including foreign policy, the economy, and their fitness to hold the nation’s highest office in the final debate Wednesday. The Onion examines the validity of their assertions
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CNN's Chilling 9/11 Tribute

On the fifth anniversary this month, will be streaming footage all day of the network's televised coverage from Sept. 11th, 2001, enabling viewers to relive it as events unfolded. What do you think?
  • "September what?"

    Becca Townes Systems Analyst
  • "Considering I was in a coma at the time, this will certainly help me fully assimilate to the scarred, paranoid society into which I awoke.

    Herman Ritter Postal Carrier
  • "I doubt many people will watch. During that time, will be airing Pirates of the Caribbean."

    Zac Polk Interior Decorator


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