Co-Founder Of Mattel Dead

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

Co-Founder Of Mattel Dead

Elliot Handler, the co-founder of the company that introduced Barbie dolls and Hot Wheels cars, died Thursday at age 95. What do you think?

  • "If he's no good anymore, is it okay to pull his arms off?"

    Gary Bélanger
    Hull Inspector
  • "I didn't need to hear that. I prefer my multimillion-dollar corporations faceless and vaguely sinister."

    Melissa Forrest
    Dye-Tank Tender
  • "But who will give my son something to do and my daughter something to feel bad about?"

    Rich Mongrain
    Package Crimper