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Coast Guard Sinks Vacant Ship

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Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books
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Coast Guard Sinks Vacant Ship

The U.S. Coast Guard used cannon fire to sink the 164-foot Ryou-Un Maru, a Japanese "ghost ship" set adrift by the tsunami last year. What do you think?

  • "I think it's important we send a clear message to all ocean debris: Your aimless drifting will not be tolerated."

    Rita Wright Systems Analyst
  • "Since when is America responsible for picking up Poseidon's slack?"

    Jonas Wincott Hand Molder
  • "Hey, Gordon Lightfoot, ‘The Wreck Of The Ryou-Un Maru’ could be your ticket to a lake house."

    Russell Forlani Alloy Weigher

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