Coffee Counteracts Alcohol

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Coffee Counteracts Alcohol

A study published by the Archives of Internal Medicine demonstrates that drinking coffee can offset the detrimental effects of alcohol on the liver. What do you think?
  • "Who needs coffee when you have a family full of sober organ-donors?"

    Alexandra Ledoux
    Systems Analyst
  • "Why all the hubbub? Isn't the liver just a useless old organ at the end of the intestines? Oh, that's the appendix. Can coffee offset the effects of alcohol on the appendix?"

    Jason Zellar
    Laser Printer Technician
  • "Typical scientists, always giving us useless, abstract information. Where's the chart showing the proper cappuccino-to-Jaeger ratio?"

    Christopher Martin
    Youth Pastor