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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Coffee Linked To Lower Suicide Risk

A recent study found that people who drink two to four cups of coffee daily are 50 percent less likely to commit suicide than those who drink fewer than two cups a day, drink decaffeinated coffee, or don’t drink coffee at all. What do you think?

  • “This is going to make the people who say they can’t live without their coffee all the more insufferable.”

    Bruno Conway Glass Smoother
  • “Well, yeah, because you get all that negative energy out by killing all those beans.”

    Laurie Klamer Public Works Commissioner
  • “If only Kurt Cobain would have sampled some of the fine blends Seattle has to offer.”

    Hank Whitlatch Racetrack Attendant
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