Cold Temperatures Help With Weight Loss

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Goodwill Executives Arrested After Years Of Skimming Donated Goods Off Top

ROCKVILLE, MD—In what authorities are calling one of the most wide-reaching and deplorable cases of embezzlement in recent history, seven executives at Goodwill Industries International were arrested Thursday for allegedly skimming used clothing, old furniture, small appliances, and thousands of other donated items from the charitable group.

Meteorologists Say Upcoming Hurricane Season To Be Permanent

SILVER SPRING, MD—Warning residents to prepare for extreme winds, heavy rainfall, and flooding starting in the near future and continuing indefinitely, meteorologists at the National Weather Service announced Friday that the upcoming hurricane season would be permanent.
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Cold Temperatures Help With Weight Loss

A recent study showed that exposure to lower temperatures forces the body to burn more calories in order to keep a steady internal temperature of 98.6 degrees, with scientists suggesting that turning down the thermostat could help people shed pounds. What do you think?

  • “Now we know why everyone in the Midwest looks like a model during the winter.”

    Adam Newman
    Kiosk Salesman
  • “Yeah, but it’s more fun to be sitting next to a nice warm fire, chowing down on cheeseburgers.”

    Siobhan Rey
    Luggage Inspector
  • “Whether I’m sweating like a pig in the summer or freezing off the pounds in the winter, a slob like me really can’t lose.”

    Harry Minoff
    Panel Moderator