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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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College Binge Drinking

A recent American Medical Association study found that binge drinking is on the rise on college campuses, as are alcohol-related deaths. What do you think?
  • "Last November, my friend Brad got drunk, and he fell down a flight of stairs and died of massive brain trauma. We were ripped to the tits, dude."

    Daryl Woodley Student
  • "As part of my fraternity's initiation ritual, pledges are required to die of alcohol poisoning."

    Ricky Hanratty Student
  • "Sure, binge drinking can be a serious problem, but how else are college students supposed to foster an environment conducive to date rape?"

    Peter Malone Bricklayer
  • "Most college students aren't even 21, so this is really more of a grad-school issue."

    Annette Brister Interpreter
  • "Forget college. I'm doing my best binge drinking now that I'm in my 40s and have a dead-end job and a fucking albatross of a family."

    Steven Stoudt Systems Analyst
  • "What's wrong with letting off a little steam five to six nights a week?"

    Stephanie Blackledge Dental Hygienist

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