adBlockCheck

Recent News

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
End Of Section
  • More News

College Graduates Making 8% to 11% Less

According to the Economic Policy Institute, female college graduates are making 7.6 percent less than they did 10 years ago, while their male counterparts are making 11 percent less. What do you think?

  • "It's not like 2002, when a guy could graduate from a liberal arts college and just watch the money roll in."

    Jenn Serreo Systems Analyst
  • "Maybe they're just not joining the right frats."

    David King Door Assembler
  • "My kids had all the toys, clothing, and gadgets they wanted. Elmo on TV told them how special they were. I even hid the death of our family dog from them. Now it's time to throw them into the deep end of the pool and see if they can swim."

    Ward Dee Hydrographer

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close