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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.
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Colmes Leaves 'Hannity & Colmes'

Alan Colmes, the longtime liberal cohost of the Fox News program Hannity & Colmes, will leave at the end of the year. What do you think?
  • "Man, I don't know what Hannity will do without his intern."

    Li Knutsen Systems Analyst
  • "This will allow Alan more time to concentrate on his substitute teaching career."

    John Ashford Grocery Bagger
  • "Colmes was too liberal for me with all his moderate views and support of Rudy Giuliani and such. Good riddance to that leftie wing nut."

    Brandon Rautenberg Assembly Line Worker

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