Color Blindness Cured in Monkeys

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Vol 45 Issue 38

Troy Polamalu All Over Orthopedic Clinic

PITTSBURGH—Steelers safety Troy Polamalu reportedly wreaked havoc on the Tri-State Orthopedics Clinic Monday, flailing around wildly on his crutches and violently knocking over unsuspecting physical therapy patients while rehabilitating the sprained medial collateral ligament in his left knee.
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Color Blindness Cured in Monkeys

An experimental treatment in which a human virus carrying color-sensing genes was injected into monkeys' eyes resulted in a drastic reduction in red-green color blindness. What do you think?
  • "Wonderful. Now those monkeys can obey traffic lights like everybody else."

    Mandy Fielding
    Systems Analyst
  • "Of all the things I've injected into monkeys' eyes, I never considered experimental therapies."

    Eric Hunt
    Lab Technician
  • "Hopefully the monkeys will remember our act of generosity in the troubled era to come."

    Jim Schmidt
    Roof Bolter
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