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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Colorado Rockies Trademark 'Rocktober'

To celebrate their first trip to the World Series, the Colorado Rockies are designating the month of October "Rocktober," and the team is seeking to trademark the term. What do you think?
  • "If there is one thing that can make up for a humiliating 13-1 loss, it’s a tired marketing catchphrase."

    Sue Tate Systems Analyst
  • "Someone better not snatch up 'Two for Tuesday,' or it could be back to cleaning grease traps for this classic rock DJ."

    Animal Barber Radio DJ
  • "I never realized baseball could be so much fun!"

    Cole Javerbaum Weather Proofer
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