Comcast To Acquire Time Warner Cable For $45 Billion

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Grin Slowly Spreads Across Mom’s Face As Meal Revealed To Contain Healthy Ingredients

‘The Mashed Potatoes Are Actually Made With Cauliflower,’ She Announces

VERONA, WI—Having waited until everyone at the table had finished their dinner Monday, a knowing grin reportedly spread across local mother Angela Hopkins’ face as she announced to her family that the mashed potatoes had in fact been made using cauliflower as a healthier alternative.
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Comcast To Acquire Time Warner Cable For $45 Billion

The nation’s biggest cable television operator Comcast announced this morning that they have agreed to buy number-two provider Time Warner Cable for $45.2 billion in stock, bringing their total customer base to more than 30 million. What do you think?

  • “Shut up, no they didn’t. Don’t just lie to my face like that.”

    Jason Ross
    Systems Analyst
  • “You mean I can get all of the blazing-fast speeds of Comcast coupled with the dependability of Time Warner Cable?”

    Rebecca LaFlure
    Wedding Planner
  • “Does the FCC really want one cable provider to have such a major influence in the last few remaining years of people needing a cable provider?”

    Ben Harries