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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Commemorating Reagan's 100th

Sunday marked the 100th birthday of the late President Ronald Wilson Reagan. How did you remember him?

  • "I thought it would be a nice gesture to set aside my personal prejudices for the day and sell a shit ton of weapons to some Iranian dude."

    Adam Rubenstein Arms Dealer
  • "I spent exorbitant sums of money I didn't have but then convinced my family how important it is to live within our means."

    Ceecee Bryan Budget Officer
  • "I'm really too young to remember much about Ronald Reagan, but I haven't let that stop me from elevating him to Messiah-like status."

    Lawrence Bakija Student

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