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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Commerce Secretary Involved In Hit-And-Run

U.S. commerce secretary John Bryson was involved in a hit-and-run in Los Angeles when his vehicle struck a car stopped at a train tracks. What do you think?

  • "To think Bryson came to office promising that no one would ever hear of him."

    Mike Williams Tray Packer
  • "This was a bad stunt to pull in an election year. Just hold off until November, and then you can kill as many people as you want."

    Rona Calvert Systems Analyst
  • “Oh, Jesus, the commerce secretary? I was planning on buying and selling goods like crazy this week. Am I totally fucked?”

    Will Sterling Grating-Machine Operator
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