Company To Offer Balloon Rides To Edge Of Space

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.


Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.

Company To Offer Balloon Rides To Edge Of Space

An Arizona-based company called World View Enterprises says it will offer rides to the edge of space in a capsule carried by a helium balloon at a price of $75,000 per person. What do you think?

  • “I would be freaking out until I reminded myself that the safest form of travel is helium balloon rides.”

    Kirk Otero
    Light Bulb Tester
  • “Is the balloon normal or Garfield-shaped?”

    Bennie Kopp
    Stained Glass Glazier
  • “But what if the balloon pops? Some sweet animal will try to eat it and choke to death.”

    Erin Lafferty
    Hydrometer Calibrator