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Company To Offer Balloon Rides To Edge Of Space

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Company To Offer Balloon Rides To Edge Of Space

An Arizona-based company called World View Enterprises says it will offer rides to the edge of space in a capsule carried by a helium balloon at a price of $75,000 per person. What do you think?

  • “I would be freaking out until I reminded myself that the safest form of travel is helium balloon rides.”

    Kirk Otero Light Bulb Tester
  • “Is the balloon normal or Garfield-shaped?”

    Bennie Kopp Stained Glass Glazier
  • “But what if the balloon pops? Some sweet animal will try to eat it and choke to death.”

    Erin Lafferty Hydrometer Calibrator

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