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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Computer Countdown To '00

There is widespread fear among computer experts that the turn of the millennium will create vast problems, as computers across the world—programmed with only the last two digits of a year—will mistake 2000 for 1900. What do you think?
  • "I pray that a solution is found. What will happen to my Ms. Pac Man high scores?"

    David Charbonneau Carpet Salesman
  • "I hope this problem won't affect the hovering space cars we'll be driving in 2000."

    Robyn Lipman Systems Analyst
  • "My computer went all crazy on me the other day. But I think it was because I ejaculated all over the keyboard."

    Wally Putnam Landscaper
  • "Without a computer, how will I speak to my friends in Japan, order a bouquet of roses and help my son with his report on dinosaurs?"

    Rachel Stryzinski Librarian
  • "In just three years, William McKinley will lead the country, the auto-mobile fad will be in full swing, and I shall sport a jaunty boater cap and wax my moustache!"

    Pete Mortman Choir Director
  • "Open the pod bay doors, Hal... Hal? I won't argue with you, Hal!"

    Mitchell Jessup Chemical Engineer

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

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