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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Computer Passes Turing Test, Successfully Impersonates Human

A computer program in the U.K. has arguably passed the famous Turing test, an evaluation to determine whether machines can be considered to have artificial intelligence, by convincing one-third of a judging panel that they were chatting with a 13-year-old Ukrainian boy. What do you think?

  • “Kudos to the programmers, who not only passed the Turing test, but somehow persuaded people to chat with a 13-year-old boy in the first place.”

    Tom O’Neill Lightswitch Tester
  • “Great ruse, since I can’t think of a single question to ask about present-day Ukraine to try to stump it.”

    Adam Felber Laboratory Assistant
  • “We all knew the day would come when computers would usurp the position of 13-year-old Ukrainian boys in our society.”

    Jeanne Simpson Kiln Operator

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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