adBlockCheck

Recent News

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
End Of Section
  • More News

Confederate-Flag Controversy

On Jan. 17, more than 47,000 people marched on South Carolina's Statehouse to protest the flying of the Confederate flag over the capitol dome. What do you think about the presence of what many consider an emblem of slavery?
  • "As a Southerner, I simply want to display the Confederate flag as an important symbol of my heritage and history. My hatred of niggers has nothing to do with it."

    Jesse Lee Willis Auto Mechanic
  • "Hasn't South Carolina learned anything since the days of the Civil War? On second thought, I think I'd rather not know the answer to that question."

    Anthony Banks Systems Analyst
  • "If they can still fly the Nazi flag over the capitol in Berlin, South Carolina should have the right to fly the Stars and Bars. What? When did that happen?"

    Denise Schourek Massage Therapist
  • "It is unconscionable that, in this day and age, that ugly symbol of racism is painted on the roof of the General Lee. Sheriff Roscoe should teach them Duke boys a lesson."

    Oscar Haney Delivery Driver
  • "I'm from the South, my daddy's from the South, and my daddy's daddy's from the South. All three of us are from the South."

    Knox Williams Banker
  • "If I were a citizen of South Carolina, I'd be deeply ashamed. Now, what's this about a flag?"

    Irene Lewis Actuary

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close