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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Congress' Pre-Christmas Cuts

The House recently voted to cut $1.6 billion in social-program spending right before Christmas. What do you think?

  • "Well, isn't this in keeping with the true spirit of Congress?"

    Babette Layton Police Officer
  • "Christmas is a time for fellowship and good will towards men, not a lot of negativity about who is or isn't able to afford food or heat."

    Nick Cardy Web Press Operator
  • "Geez, you people are never happy. If the House voted to cut $1.6 billion in social programs in the late spring, you would say they were ruining people's summer."

    Mike Royer Furniture Restoration Expert
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