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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Congressional Filibusters

Some people view the filibuster as a vital democratic tool, but others see it as an unnecessary impediment to legislative progress. What do you think?
  • "Wait—wouldn't the Democrats be able to filibuster the bill to change the filibustering rules?"

    Lillie Moon Doctor
  • "I think it's time America moved past this 'checks and balances' idea and fully embraced our 'unlimited line of credit' society."

    Louis Knapp Probation Officer
  • "The filibuster, eh? That reminds me of the baking-powder biscuits my dear old grandmother used to make. First, she'd take shortening... Now, keep in mind, the more shortening you use, the flakier the biscuits will be. My, all of us kids used to love Timothy Landry Systems Analyst

  • "I use filibusters in my day-to-day life. They help you get out of all kinds of stuff, like taking out the garbage or having children."

    Gordon Richmond Plumber
  • "Do filibusters have anything to do with the word 'quorum'? Because I totally remember that word, too."

    Derek Meadows Factory Operator
  • "I'm not positive where I stand on filibusters, but as a longtime proponent of 'less talk, more rock,' I assume I'm against them."

    Viola Ellison Fashion Designer

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