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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Congressman: Pregnancy Rarely Results From 'Legitimate Rape'

During an interview yesterday, Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO), who is currently locked in a heated Senate race, said that women rarely become pregnant in cases of "legitimate rape" because "the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." What do you think?

  • “I’m sure he’s very sorry and what he meant to say was nothing at all.”

    John Kazan Systems Analyst
  • “Oh, yeah, the shutting-it-down trick! How could billions of us all have forgotten that exists?”

    Melinda Suchet Abrasive Grinder
  • “When are women going to face the fact that they don’t know their own bodies as well as men who have heard things?”

    Don Langrick Bonsai Culturist
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