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Congressman: Pregnancy Rarely Results From 'Legitimate Rape'

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Congressman: Pregnancy Rarely Results From 'Legitimate Rape'

During an interview yesterday, Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO), who is currently locked in a heated Senate race, said that women rarely become pregnant in cases of "legitimate rape" because "the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." What do you think?

  • “I’m sure he’s very sorry and what he meant to say was nothing at all.”

    John Kazan Systems Analyst
  • “Oh, yeah, the shutting-it-down trick! How could billions of us all have forgotten that exists?”

    Melinda Suchet Abrasive Grinder
  • “When are women going to face the fact that they don’t know their own bodies as well as men who have heard things?”

    Don Langrick Bonsai Culturist

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