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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Congressman Resigns Over “Unwanted” Sexual Incident

Amid accusations he sexually assaulted an 18-year-old, Rep. David Wu (D-OR) announced he would resign as soon as debt-ceiling negotiations were complete. What do you think?

  • “It’s a good thing he’s staying for a little while. A sexual predator is exactly the kind of sane, reasoned voice we need right now.”

    Chris Bateman Meat Packer
  • “Portland is a forgiving place. Go buy a few rounds of Pabst, build a couple skate parks, and you should be fine.”

    Matt Shrimpton Lapping Machine Operator
  • “So he actually touched her? Good—for a while there I was beginning to worry all analog sexual harassment had been replaced by the Internet.”

    Bex Besser Machine Setter
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