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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Congressman Resigns Over “Unwanted” Sexual Incident

Amid accusations he sexually assaulted an 18-year-old, Rep. David Wu (D-OR) announced he would resign as soon as debt-ceiling negotiations were complete. What do you think?

  • “It’s a good thing he’s staying for a little while. A sexual predator is exactly the kind of sane, reasoned voice we need right now.”

    Chris Bateman Meat Packer
  • “Portland is a forgiving place. Go buy a few rounds of Pabst, build a couple skate parks, and you should be fine.”

    Matt Shrimpton Lapping Machine Operator
  • “So he actually touched her? Good—for a while there I was beginning to worry all analog sexual harassment had been replaced by the Internet.”

    Bex Besser Machine Setter
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