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Conservatives Believe In Science Less

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Conservatives Believe In Science Less

A new study published in the American Sociological Review found today’s conservatives have less trust in science than the conservatives of the mid-1970s. What do you think?

  • "Of course they do, when scientists go around saying crazy things like a pound of feathers weighs the same as a pound of gold."

    Darren Hart Diamond Mounter
  • "Maybe science should go back to bringing us less of the AIDS and climate change, and more of the polio vaccines and atom bombs."

    Rick Pearlman Wharf Attendant
  • "The saddest part is they'll never even believe this study."

    Reyna Shoaib Unemployed

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