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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Conservatives Believe In Science Less

A new study published in the American Sociological Review found today’s conservatives have less trust in science than the conservatives of the mid-1970s. What do you think?

  • "Of course they do, when scientists go around saying crazy things like a pound of feathers weighs the same as a pound of gold."

    Darren Hart
    Diamond Mounter
  • "Maybe science should go back to bringing us less of the AIDS and climate change, and more of the polio vaccines and atom bombs."

    Rick Pearlman
    Wharf Attendant
  • "The saddest part is they'll never even believe this study."

    Reyna Shoaib
    Unemployed

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