Conservatives Believe In Science Less

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How To Talk To Your Child About Death

When your family has experienced a loss, it can be a difficult concept for young children to process. The Onion breaks down the best ways to converse with your child about the realities of death

Jayson Werth Catches Foul Ball Without Spilling Beer

WASHINGTON—In an incredible play that drew cheers from the whole stadium, Washington Nationals left fielder Jayson Werth managed to catch a foul ball Tuesday night without spilling the beer he was holding in his other hand.

NASA Deploys Congressional Rover To Search For Funding

WASHINGTON—Calling the program “the most crucial in the agency’s history,” researchers at NASA announced Wednesday they have successfully deployed a Special Exploratory Rover to Congress as part of an open-ended mission to seek out any possible trace of funding on Capitol Hill.

What The Planet Will Look Like In 2100

As scientists try to project the effects of climate change into the future, many of these forecasts only go as far as 2100, a year beyond which the alterations to our environment become much harder to predict. Here is a breakdown of what we can expect our world to look like in 2100
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  • Man’s Body Running Out Of Ideas To Convince Him He Full

    BAYTOWN, TX—Having repeatedly ratcheted up the 34-year-old’s level of discomfort with no noticeable effect on his behavior, the body of local man Kent Dugan confirmed Wednesday that it was starting to run out of ideas to convince him that he was full.

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Conservatives Believe In Science Less

A new study published in the American Sociological Review found today’s conservatives have less trust in science than the conservatives of the mid-1970s. What do you think?

  • "Of course they do, when scientists go around saying crazy things like a pound of feathers weighs the same as a pound of gold."

    Darren Hart
    Diamond Mounter
  • "Maybe science should go back to bringing us less of the AIDS and climate change, and more of the polio vaccines and atom bombs."

    Rick Pearlman
    Wharf Attendant
  • "The saddest part is they'll never even believe this study."

    Reyna Shoaib
    Unemployed