Conservatives Rule Canada

Top Headlines

Recent News

Your Horoscopes — Week Of July 7, 2014

ARIES: Your belief that nothing can stop you will be tested this week by depression, procrastination, concrete barriers, dysentery, armed gunmen, and the unanimous passage of several laws targeted specifically at stopping you.

Ranking Women Somehow Not Issue In Miss USA Debacle

NEW YORK—As backlash against the Miss USA pageant continues to spread following controversial anti-immigration remarks made by the contest’s owner, Donald Trump, sources confirmed this week that the overt ranking of women is somehow not a part of the ongoing nationwide outrage.

Insurance Only Covers Generic Heart Transplant

GALLATIN, TN—Saying he will just have to trust that the new organ he receives is as good as the other options out there, local man Keith Palmero confirmed Tuesday that his insurance provider would only cover a generic heart for his upcoming transplant surgery.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Entertainment

Comfort

  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

Conservatives Rule Canada

Stephen Harper and his Conservative Party ousted Liberal Party incumbent Paul Martin in general elections. What do you think?
  • "If the Republicans win in '08, I guess I'll be moving to Mexico."

    Jesse Robins
    Forge Operator
  • "As a Montrealer, I hope that our new prime minister relaxes the harsh mandatory English-French bilingualism requirements. En tant que Canadien, j'espère que notre nouveau premier ministre détend les conditions anglo-français obligatoires de bilinguisme."

    Roger Gastineau
    Helicopter Technician
  • "Once again, those losers in Canada are years behind us. Hey, assholes, Ugg boots are out, just so you know."

    Lauren Hale
    Blogger
Next Story