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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Conspiracy Theories Mathematically Tested

Mathematicians at Oxford have devised an equation that measures the “lifespan” of a conspiracy theory before it would realistically become exposed to the public, finding that if a given theory is not substantiated within four years, the widely accepted version of events is all but certain to be true. What do you think?

  • “Interesting. Do you have any additional literature on this topic that I could pass out on the train?”

    Wendy Longeran Cubist Landscaper
  • “I’ve always suspected the field of mathematics was in on it.”

    Chet Morse Lunch Reviewer
  • “True, although this study fails to point out that sunspots and satellite trajectories are also determining factors.”

    David Doogan Script Supervisor
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