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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Conspiracy Theories Mathematically Tested

Mathematicians at Oxford have devised an equation that measures the “lifespan” of a conspiracy theory before it would realistically become exposed to the public, finding that if a given theory is not substantiated within four years, the widely accepted version of events is all but certain to be true. What do you think?

  • “Interesting. Do you have any additional literature on this topic that I could pass out on the train?”

    Wendy Longeran Cubist Landscaper
  • “I’ve always suspected the field of mathematics was in on it.”

    Chet Morse Lunch Reviewer
  • “True, although this study fails to point out that sunspots and satellite trajectories are also determining factors.”

    David Doogan Script Supervisor

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