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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Consumer Borrowing Increases In March

Overall borrowing, including credit card purchases and student loans, increased more in March than in any month in the past 10 years, pushing the total close to its level immediately preceding the recession. What do you think?

  • "It was only a matter of time before people remembered how fun it is to buy things with money they don't have."

    Carrie Wackerman Systems Analyst
  • "As a lender, I couldn't be happier about this. As a pushover with a lot of creeps for friends, I am pretty sure I am about to lose a lot of money."

    Christopher Bayley Loan Officer
  • "I like our gumption!"

    Finn Williamson Unemployed

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