adBlockCheck

Recent News

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
End Of Section
  • More News

Consumer Borrowing Increases In March

Overall borrowing, including credit card purchases and student loans, increased more in March than in any month in the past 10 years, pushing the total close to its level immediately preceding the recession. What do you think?

  • "It was only a matter of time before people remembered how fun it is to buy things with money they don't have."

    Carrie Wackerman Systems Analyst
  • "As a lender, I couldn't be happier about this. As a pushover with a lot of creeps for friends, I am pretty sure I am about to lose a lot of money."

    Christopher Bayley Loan Officer
  • "I like our gumption!"

    Finn Williamson Unemployed
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close