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Consumer Confidence Highest Since 2008

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Charles Koch Orders Sniper To Fire Warning Shot Next To Marco Rubio On Debate Stage

GREENVILLE, SC—In response to the presidential candidate’s unsatisfactory answer to a question about the economic effects of environmental regulations, Koch Industries CEO Charles Koch reportedly ordered a sniper positioned in the rafters of the Greenville Peace Center to fire a warning shot near Marco Rubio’s podium during Saturday’s Republican debate.
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Consumer Confidence Highest Since 2008

Confidence among U.S. consumers has risen this month to its highest level in nearly five years. What do you think?

  • “An economic index I don’t understand is going up? Yay!”

    Keith Klempner
    Nurse Anesthetist
  • “Does that mean I’m rich again?”

    Valerie Reitzas
    Insurance Underwriter
  • “After I lost my confidence to consume back in ’08, I didn’t think I’d ever have the courage to blow two month’s pay on a vintage Stratocaster, but here I am with this sexy axe.”

    Noah Keroshetz
    Quarry Worker

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