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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Consumer Confidence Highest Since 2008

Confidence among U.S. consumers has risen this month to its highest level in nearly five years. What do you think?

  • “An economic index I don’t understand is going up? Yay!”

    Keith Klempner Nurse Anesthetist
  • “Does that mean I’m rich again?”

    Valerie Reitzas Insurance Underwriter
  • “After I lost my confidence to consume back in ’08, I didn’t think I’d ever have the courage to blow two month’s pay on a vintage Stratocaster, but here I am with this sexy axe.”

    Noah Keroshetz Quarry Worker

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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