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Veteran Told What Offends Him

WASHINGTON—In the wake of protests in which some players knelt during the national anthem prior to this week’s NFL games, a U.S. Army veteran has been informed that the acts offended him.

‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.
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Consumer Electronics Show Shrinks

In the face of the struggling economy, the annual Consumer Electronics Show is expected to have fewer participants. What do you think?
  • "It probably doesn’t help that Samsung's new prototype televisions are so flat that they slid under the door of the truck and smashed all over the highway while en route to Vegas."

    Mary Casalle Systems Analyst
  • "I'll still get in line the night before and camp out, but that's only because I hate my kids."

    Dan Mothersbaugh Bartender
  • "I don't think I can make it through a whole year without a new appliance that has a radio unnecessarily jammed into it somewhere."

    Robert Freese Pediatrician

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