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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Consumer Electronics Show Shrinks

In the face of the struggling economy, the annual Consumer Electronics Show is expected to have fewer participants. What do you think?
  • "It probably doesn’t help that Samsung's new prototype televisions are so flat that they slid under the door of the truck and smashed all over the highway while en route to Vegas."

    Mary Casalle Systems Analyst
  • "I'll still get in line the night before and camp out, but that's only because I hate my kids."

    Dan Mothersbaugh Bartender
  • "I don't think I can make it through a whole year without a new appliance that has a radio unnecessarily jammed into it somewhere."

    Robert Freese Pediatrician

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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