Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

Consumer Electronics Show Shrinks

In the face of the struggling economy, the annual Consumer Electronics Show is expected to have fewer participants. What do you think?
  • "It probably doesn’t help that Samsung's new prototype televisions are so flat that they slid under the door of the truck and smashed all over the highway while en route to Vegas."

    Mary Casalle Systems Analyst
  • "I'll still get in line the night before and camp out, but that's only because I hate my kids."

    Dan Mothersbaugh Bartender
  • "I don't think I can make it through a whole year without a new appliance that has a radio unnecessarily jammed into it somewhere."

    Robert Freese Pediatrician
More Videos


More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.