adBlockCheck

Politics

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
End Of Section
  • More News

Consumption Tax Proposed

Last week, Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan said a consumption tax, such as a national sales tax, could benefit the nation's economy. What do you think?
  • "This tax would unfairly penalize people whose televisions aren't as large as they'd like."

    Timothy Potts Systems Analyst
  • "So, does this mean that, in the future, if I don't want law and order to utterly collapse, I'll have to buy at least five things a day?"

    Lola Stein Drafter
  • "I'd been wondering if my daily ramen-noodles consumption could somehow be turned into a revenue stream for the federal government."

    Jarrod Ray Police Officer
  • "That damn Kerry! Even though he didn't get elected, he's somehow managed to sneak his insidious liberal tax-raising agenda onto us anyway!"

    Connie Crane Dentist
  • "As a man with a massive income that I only spend on necessities, this sounds like an ideal plan."

    Corey Bernard Accountant
  • "We tried an income-based tax for nearly a century and look what it brought us: greater economic stability and government accountability. Clearly, we must explore other options."

    Adrian Sears Short Order Cook

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close