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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Cornell To Install Suicide-Prevention Nets

After 27 such suicides in two decades, Cornell University and the town of Ithaca, NY have agreed to install nets along the sides of five bridges to stop would-be jumpers from leaping to their deaths in the area’s famed gorges. What do you think?

  • “They might also want to change their town slogan to something other than ‘Ithaca: You’ll Never Be Good Enough.’”

    Emmet Dillon Map Clerk
  • “Wouldn’t it just be easier to make everything ground level?"

    Margaret Ontiverous Police Chief
  • “I imagine nets are probably more cost-effective than providing suicidal students with psychiatric care and medicine.”

    Jacques Moscou Hot Metal Mixer Operator
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