Corpse Of Astronomer Tycho Brahe Exhumed

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Vol 46 Issue 52

Paper Proposes One-Way Trips To Mars

An article in the Journal Of Cosmology suggests that in order to make a manned flight to Mars an affordable reality in the near future, plans should not include a return trip.

New Social Networking Site Changing The Way Oh, Christ, Forget It

NEW YORK—While millions of young, tech-savvy professionals already use services like Facebook and Twitter to keep in constant touch with friends, a new social networking platform called Foursquare has recently taken the oh, fucking hell, can't some other desperate news outlet cover this crap instead?
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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

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Comfort

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    WHITE PLAINS, NY—Stunned and visibly offended by the sheer volume of facial hair visible before them, every single customer at local diner Hubbard's this morning was reportedly eyeing 28-year-old fellow patron David Kellerman and mentally shaving of...

Corpse Of Astronomer Tycho Brahe Exhumed

Researchers are exhuming the remains of Tycho Brahe to determine the cause of the Danish astronomer's death in 1601. What do you think?

  • "C'mon, can't an astronomer-mummy hunter catch a break for a few days? I just finished putting down Sagan."

    Dane Akin
    Piano Teacher
  • "That was delightfully random. Thanks for putting a spring in my step today, researchers."

    Mike Ward
    Plumber
  • "The guy had a supposedly clairvoyant court-jester dwarf who sat under the table during dinner and a tame elk that would drink beer with you. Who gives a shit how he died? Let's celebrate his life!"

    Judy Schaal
    Embedder
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